1) Londoners are actually friendly:
Some are. Common myth dispelled. People hold doors and say thank you. Who would have thought.
2) Londoners are definitely rude:
Some are. Recently at the train station a girl spilled her makeup all over my brand new suede shoes at 7.30am and laughed about it. I did not.
3) Commuting is fun:
Never ever thought I would say this, but it is. You get to be with people on the way to work which I think is pretty cool. Radio 1 is rubbish now Chris Moyles isn't on it, so why not be entertained by loud mouth people intent on telling the whole carriage about how their job is so stressful and nobody would understand how tired they are. Except you're on a packed train to Waterloo in morning rush hour, poor choice of crowd. Still, for me this is still better than sitting in traffic in your car, on your own.
4) Five quid won't get you a pint:
I grew up in Yorkshire, it was 99p a pint in my local village pub. I could quite easily be merry on a fiver. The first time I went to the bar with a tenner for two pints of lager I found myself fishing out some change to cover the exorbitant bill. You quickly realise that Wetherspoon's and the local off licence are your best friend, don't go to bars in Chelsea or Kensington that's just silly talk.
5) Tourists Suck
I was one. Most of us that live in London started out as one. But then you start working and living here and somewhere along the way you become a Londoner. You all of a sudden can spot these people a mile off. Pushing buttons on the tube, meandering around train stations looking at freshly printed tube maps (get an app for gods sake!) and worst of all being happy. Yeah that's right they irritate the crap out of me with their smiles and carefree days of stumbling around tube stations saying sorry to everyone. Day trippers, holiday makers and people that travel in for business who carry those stupid wheel cases, these people are the bane of my life. None of us want them here, making our days infinitely longer by gathering in large impassible groups to gaze up at The Shard and commenting how high it is. I'm aware of how high The Shard is, in fact I no longer give a crap what happens at The Shard or how good the architecture is. The only good thing about The Shard is that it blocks the sun on my walk to work keeping me a little bit cooler on a nice day. Nice work massive building.